In today’s world, the mindset of ‘I deserve this’ is everywhere. It’s the thought that creeps in when we’re eyeing a new outfit, contemplating an expensive meal, or considering binge-watching our favorite series late at night instead of going to sleep. Where did this mindset come from? And what can we do about it so it doesn’t get the best of us anymore? Let’s explore this and how we can keep it from questioning your worth.
I deserve this!
Growing up in the USA, I was surrounded by this mentality. It was a phrase that justified spending on things we didn’t really need and indulging in unhealthy habits. When I met my husband, who is from the south of Germany, I experienced a very different reality. He would ask me “why?” when I wanted to buy things. Let’s be clear: He asked “why” a lot because he was getting to know me and my culture. But when he would ask why about money things…I would explode!
This mindset of ‘I deserve this’ can lead us into a load of issues. Overspending, unhealthy lifestyle choices, and overall dissatisfaction are often what awaits us when we give in to our urges. But challenging this mindset can lead to a healthier, smarter, and happier life. By being mindful of my spending and being aware of the consequences of my actions, I began to discover what it is I truly ‘deserve’. It became a good things to ask myself “why”.
It was time to change
Recently, I was faced with the challenge of completely changing how I eat for health reasons. It meant breaking up with foods I love and facing the inner voices that justified eating lots of chocolate, cookies, and potato chips. I logically understood that the short-term gratification wasn’t worth the long-term detriment to my health. But emotionally I had to face a coping skill I was using without really realizing it. I learned that the voice of “I deserve it” is very strong in my head.
The benefits have so been worth the switch, but it took about 4-6 weeks of really challenging myself. I found I really had some negative voices in my head when I removed sugar and stopped the casual snacking. It made me think of all the other areas of my life that this voice wasn’t helping but was really loud.
My challenge to you
This journey of self-discovery has opened a whole lot of doors for emotional healing. Things I thought I had worked on showed themselves in different ways. I wouldn’t have seen it had I not had the health issues. So here is my challenge to you:
Where is the “I deserve this” voice so strong that it takes control of what you do?
Most importantly: How has this voice made you question your worth by thinking you deserve things only when you’ve earned it or had a bad day?
That last ones a doozy! Your worth, your ability to deserve something, is always there. It doesn’t show up just because you had a crap week or finally got that promotion. The faster we question the foundation of our ‘deserving’ voice the quicker we get to the heart of what is really going on.
Questioning your worth
Ultimately, the voice of “I deserve this” messes with our heads. It has us put our worth into scenarios versus reminding us that we are inherently worthy. This means our actions and choices should align with our long-term goals and desires, not with pleasures or immediate gratification that hurt us over time.
In challenging the ‘I deserve this’ mindset, we can begin to create a life marked by real enjoyment and wellbeing, which is what we truly deserve. We can break away from the cycle of overspending and unhealthy choices, and journey towards a healthier, smarter, and happier life. We can create the life we have always wanted by no longer giving in to the “I deserve this” voice.
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