Do you ever find yourself resenting someone who is sitting around while you are doing everything? I know I do and so do my clients! I want to tackle this emotion that is usually seen as negative. Could it be a great tool for our personal growth? Let’s take a critical look at what resentment is all about and what we can do to shift it.

Why we experience resentment

Resentment often surfaces when we perceive that others are enjoying freedoms we don’t believe we get to have. Ultimately we our denying ourselves these freedoms, but in the moment, it seems like we are not allowed to have them. This can stem from a multitude of reasons. It could be anything from societal expectations of who we are supposed to be to personal limitations we have placed on ourselves.

If we reframe resentment as a signal that there are freedoms we believe we are not allowed to have, we open ourselves up to personal growth. AND how we can start to let ourselves off the hook more!

What do you need permission to have/do/be?

Giving ourselves permission to:

  • relax
  • do less
  • speak our minds
  • and step out of our comfort zones

    can have a transformative effect. Resentment can serve as a stepping stone towards letting go of blocks that keep us from enjoying life. It’s our signal that we get to stop and evaluate what is going on in our lives that we don’t really like anymore. Then, we can do something about it. We are allowed to give ourselves permission to change it. We don’t have to look to others for the permission to change.

As we give ourselves permission, we can struggle to let go of roles, jobs, or tasks that we were doing beforehand. It’s time to communicate clearly with others that you are or are not going to do things anymore a certain way and talk together about how to make the change smooth. Not everyone else will like the change, but that doesn’t mean the change is bad. We can handle their disappointment and not have to fix it.

Use resentment as your personal growth tool

Resentment can indeed be a powerful tool for personal growth if we choose to view it from a different perspective. It can point out areas in our lives where we need to assert our needs, desires, and rights more strongly. It can shine light on the parts of our lives where we are not allowing ourselves the freedoms we see others enjoying because of fear.

Let’s use resentment to help us grow and not stay angry at those around us. It requires a shift in our perspective, an openness to introspection, and the courage to assert ourselves. With the right mindset and communicating our needs clearly, resentment can be transformed from a source of aggravation into an amazing tool for personal growth and freedom. Now go sit on the couch and enjoy a break!

; ) 



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graphic of Katie Rössler and The Balance Code for Episode 21 Why we experience resentment

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