Whether you were already married or were in love and moving in together, it can be quite the challenge to leave everything you knew behind for the sake of your love. Our relationship can get us through a lot but unfortunately not through everything.
As a couple’s counselor, one of the most common struggles I see in marriages is that they do not argue effectively. Many things can influence the type of argument style we have, like family history, personality types, and season of life we are in.
Marriage has its own set of challenges even before we bring kids to the mix, yet we don’t take any type of action to prepare our marriage for this adjustment. It’s time for that to change. Here are my 4 key tips to kid-proof your marriage.
Remember the days before having kids? Yes, it’s tough to remember those days where we didn’t feel completely exhausted, where we went out and did things spontaneously, and spent quality time with our partner. One thing that got hit the hardest after having kids was my marriage.
People were not arguing enough, some believed that arguing meant they were not connected as a couple, and others wanted to be right versus effective when they argued. All three of these mindsets were stopping them from knowing how to argue in a way that creates more positive results versus longer fights.
My husband and I are considered a “bi-cultural relationship” since I am American and he is German. In the first few years of our relationship, we were somewhat blind to the fact that our arguments were largely due to cultural differences.
First comes love: we connect. We get excited. Endorphins are surging through us, and we can’t wait till we see each other again. Then comes marriage, for some.