It’s a false assumption that happiness is the opposite of grief. Well, let me clarify. Yes, happiness comes as we heal our grief, so does peace and joy. However, there is an ultimate experience that occurs, which scares people when they reach the other side of grief. When they are not prepared for it, they think something must be wrong and find themselves spinning out again in worry and fear.
What is on the other side of grief?
I was challenged with this question recently, and the realization I came to is: Freedom. When we have healed the old baggage that caused our grief, space is created. Freedom is present. This is a scary feeling, especially if we have held onto our emotional baggage for a long time. Have you ever created more space in your calendar, and then when you had nothing to do you panicked a little (or maybe even a lot!) inside? Maybe you even got on the phone and started making plans of things to do with others (since you have all this free time now) or got out your to do list and made a plan of getting things done. We don’t actually enjoy the feeling of freedom of space and time when we are not used to it.
There is something comforting about having the void filled within us. My personal work this year has been working on understanding the emptiness that is created from healing our pasts as providing me with the ultimate freedom. The freedom to look at life differently. The freedom to experience life differently. The freedom to grow as a person in amazing ways. That previous issue is no longer holding me back, and yet, my go to response is a feeling that something is wrong.
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Why does freedom feel so empty?
The other side of grief is less stress, worry, sadness, and emotional overwhelm. When you don’t have that, what is left? Peace, space, calm…and a really unsettling experience for someone who is not used to feeling this on a regular basis. Freedom feels so empty because often after we have done the healing we are no longer anchored into something, even if before it was unhealthy. Part of our healing work NEEDS to involve grounding and rooting ourselves in a healthy belief system. Yes, this means believing in something greater than yourself.
When we are grounded in God/The Universe/Our Higher Power, we are settled. We can see the space that the healing created as a way to connect even more to something greater than ourselves. How powerful this is! We have the opportunity to live without chains or baggage from years of pain, troubles, and loss. When we are grounded and rooted in something greater than ourselves in our grief we experience freedom AND gratitude. Our spiritual connection expands our awareness of self and the world around us to go beyond just what we see. It’s a bit like taking the red pill in The Matrix.
Tips to Experience This Freedom to the Fullest
The other side of grief is freedom, but we must condition ourselves to be comfortable with this new experience.
Here are my tips on how to do this:
- Ground yourself in something greater than you
- Surround yourself with people who are healed or healing who understand this concept to be true
- Use affirmations like “I am safe, we are safe, it is safe.”
- Grow your toolkit by working with a spiritual mentor or grief healer
- Journal your experience so you can go back and reflect on this journey to remind yourself this freedom is beautiful and powerful
If you find yourself ready to work on your grief journey and transform it into empowerment and freedom, then let’s chat. I currently have special offerings for those who are ready to do the work and know that there are no quick fixes when we really heal old wounds to create freedom in our lives. My work as a transformative grief guide gives you the support and tools to navigate this experience in the most powerful and aligned way.
Feel seen. Be heard. Know that you are not alone. Contact me today to begin your transformation.
Not sure if you are ready to work with a guide? Take one simple step towards working on your healing by reading my book The New Face of Grief. It’s full of practical tools you can begin using immediately.